Pajama Mama

Standing outside the school's double doors, I watched my son's little blue backpack bob inside and get on line. The morning rush to school drop-off was complete. I wiped the sweat from my brow and began my walk back home when a parent in pajamas caught my eye. She hardly nodded at the crossing guard as her slippers scuffed across the street toward the school doors. Leopard print, button-up. There was no denying it - this woman rolled out of bed without a brush through her hair.

On one hand, I suppose she should be at the very least applauded for getting her kid to school on time.

On the other hand, what kind of an example is she setting for her child? Shouldn't we exhibit higher standards for ourselves as parents if we are going to ingrain them in our kids?

The "pajama mama" experience expressed a woman with lack of respect for herself. Oh, and downright laziness.

Is this a call for help? An attention-seeking behavior? Because the morning drop-off "pajama mama" look doesn't end there - it carries over into somehow being acceptable to go shopping in and arriving in at school pick-up... six hours later.

Don't get me wrong - I have woken on plenty a morning with t minus forty five minutes to get showered, dressed, etc, for the day in addition to getting my little ones eating breakfast and off to school on time. So do I excuse the "pajama mama" presentation? I do not. How far could you be from a change of clothes? A dresser away. A dresser away.  I am not saying you need to look your best at school drop-off, simply have respect for yourself, and lead by example. Would you really want your kids walking out of the house in their leopard print pajamas? If we were to jump into a time machine and fast forward to the day where the "pajama mama" offspring secures a job, will offspring roll out of bed slovenly showing up to work? Will offspring ever obtain that sought after promotion? Will offspring be completely confused and outraged when human resources has a talk with her about hygiene in the workplace?

Many have been offended by the growing number of "pajama mamas" out there, even banning them from stores, schools, and day cares in places like Little Hedgepeth Academy in Northeast Charlotte  http://www.thecharlottepost.com/index.php?src=news&refno=5123&category=Life
and the UK http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8526732/Schools-ban-parents-from-wearing-pyjamas-at-drop-off.html.

Lets put more than minimal effort into teaching our kids self respect, self discipline, and a groomed appearance. Lets change our clothes.

The Writer's Digest Conference East - NYC 2013

After three years of hemming and hawing, making excuses like "I'm not ready", "I can't afford it", and "I can't go- the kids won't be okay without me home", I finally jumped off the cliff and began building my wings on the way down. I got my ass to the Writer's Digest Conference East this year in NYC and pitched a couple books.

The rules went like this: You get three minutes with each agent, but you don't want to pitch for three minutes because the agent then has no time to respond. 

Thanks to a past workshop by editor John Adamus (check out his blog at http://writernextdoor.blogspot.com/) I wrote, rewrote, memorized and rehearsed two pitches in the week leading up to the big day.

Here they are:

Mommy’s Monster Goes Grocery Shopping

(Hook): One of the most dreaded weekly challenges a toddler mom faces is… grocery shopping. Just thinking about it brings brain drain. Determining what to buy is the easy part – it’s physically obtaining the milk, peanut butter, and goldfishies with the screaming toddler running in the other direction that presents obstacle.

(Turn): Mommy’s Monster Goes Grocery Shopping is a humorous how-to book that prepares mom for the grocery store battle. It arms her with a list of toddler essentials, and advises where to store them for quick and easy access, and when to use them. My book guides mom step by step through anxiety-riddled tasks like managing a much-needed diaper change with a child who would much rather stick her finger in the pink goo by the public toilet.

(Payoff): Mommy’s Monster Goes Grocery Shopping, empowers mom on her grocery trip. And when mom feels empowered, she is happy. When she is happy, the kids are happy. And when her husband comes home and sees her and the kids happy, he’s happy, too, and more likely to tell her to go buy a new dress. Now mom’s really happy.

Kiaju

(Hook): Are you a middle school teacher desperate for your students’ attention? Are you tired of teaching the same old lene lenape lessons? Introduce Kiaju to the social studies curriculum and acquire the respect and professional fulfillment you deserve.

(Turn): Kiaju utilizes magical realism and combines it with current events like Russia’s adoption ban, worldwide environmental destruction, and opens discussion to the true meaning of family. A child prodigy and a girl with superhuman strength escape a Russian kidnapper and sneak aboard a ship where fish turns to apples before their very eyes. The duo is mysteriously entrusted with two babies to care for, and they use their special abilities to fight for survival in a world where scorpions and tornadoes might otherwise tear them apart.

(Payoff): Schools are providing more independent reading time, making Kiaju an essential addition to the middle grade classroom. Kiaju lends itself to a series in which more current events are explored and magic is applied. Bring Kiaju to your next board meeting. You just might get a raise. 

As I stood there on a line of hopeful writers, waiting for the doors to the agent filled room to open, my breath got lost somewhere between my belly and my throat. I couldn't remember a word. Then I just started to laugh and thought "What the hell am I DOING here? I'M not a WRITER." Just then, a smiley, roundish Canadian started talking to me. This was his first time pitching, too. And as we talked some more, other heads shifted back in our direction like they wanted to join in. Their feet shuffled from side to side - just like mine, and they smiled nervously - just like me. I suddenly realized that most writers here had never pitched a book - just like me.

So the grand opening of the doors into the room of golden opportunity swung open and I did it. I nearly swallowed my tongue on the first few rounds, but I did it.

I got a lot of "that's not something we're looking for right now's", but on the upside, I scored a lot of laughs, a business card for Kiaju, and gained consistent advice on  Mommy's Monster Goes Grocery Shopping: it's too niche for a book. Make it a blog.

I walked out of that pitch-slam session with the sweaty armpits and a dry mouth.
Did I score a book deal? No.
That day, I scored work-fulfillment, upped my self-confidence, and deepened my faith in the possibility that my dreams can come true. 

So, besides the big pitch-slam session there was also about a million other cool things that happened.

I took Donald Maass' (Donald Maass Literary Agency) session, Creating the Greatest Characters of Your Career, and learned when, how, and why to appropriately make my protagonist do and say things completely out of character.

I attended James Scott Bell's session, Creating a Career out of Ebooks. He is as great a speaker as he is an author.

I got my copy of Mockingbird signed by Chuck Wendig, who predicts my death will take place in the gears of a giant clock.

I got bags, pens, ebooks, and post-its from companies like Abbott Press, BiblioCrunch, bookbaby, and WriterCube.

I got to wear a skirt and look pretty.

It was a day I'll never forget.

How to Find Healthy Foods for Your Picky Eater -Guest Blogger, Bridget Sandorford

How to Find Healthy Foods for Your Picky Eater

Battling a picky eater is a common problem for parents. Though the problem is especially common for parents of toddlers, it can be an issue even for teenagers. It can be a constant challenge to get picky eaters to eat the healthy foods that they need to eat in order to get a balanced diet.

All is not hopeless. With a little creativity and persistence, you can get your kids to eat a healthier diet. Here a few tips for how to find healthy foods for your picky eater:

Choose Healthier Versions of Their Favorite Foods

Every kid loves pizza and French fries. You can get your kids to eat healthier foods by just choosing healthier versions of these and their other favorite foods. Offer pizzas with whole-grain crusts, fries that are made of sweet potatoes, whole-grain or rice pastas, and ice cream that's made of frozen fruit instead of milk and sugar. Your children may not have even the sweet potatoes or the fruit alone, but they are likely to eat these nutritious foods when they are in the form of their favorite foods.

Give Their Favorite Foods a Healthy Boost

Most kids won't notice that they're eating fruits and vegetables if you sneak them into their favorite foods. You can add veggies to their pizza, sneak some broccoli into their macaroni and cheese or put some bananas on their peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. Even if they notice these new ingredients, they are more likely to accept them in their favorite foods.

Pick Foods that Are Fun

The presentation of foods has a big influence on whether your children will accept them. Choose foods that can be made "fun" for them. Some ideas include:

• Parfaits
• Kebabs - with raw or cooked veggies and fruits
• Gummies made with real fruit
• Smoothies made of real fruit (which you can call milkshakes)

Even foods that aren't necessarily "fun" can be made to seem more interesting and  playful. For example, veggies can be shaped in a smile or a fun picture on the plate. You can do the same things with fruit, or you can even create sculptures or "cake" out of fruit. Have fun with it, and your children will be more likely to try these foods.

Give Foods a Fun Dressing

You don't necessarily have to find foods that your children will eat -- you just have to find ways to get them to eat them. One way you can do that is to provide tasty and healthy dips that will make them more likely to eat veggies and fruits. Choose hummus or veggie-based dips that are both flavorful and delicious. For fruit, try a dip made with sweet cream that is low in refined sugars and fats.

Getting kids to eat foods that are healthy for them can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be an impossibility. If you are dealing with a picky eater, try some of these tips to get them to eat the healthy foods that they need.

What other healthy foods are you able to serve your picky eater? What tricks do you use to get them to eat healthy? Share your tips in the comments!

About the Author:

Bridget Sandorford is a freelance food and culinary writer, where recently she’s been researching culinary schools in Las Vegas. In her spare time, she enjoys biking, painting and working on her first cookbook.

Raising ADHD Suburbia

What’s an ADHD kid to do when there’s nowhere to run? I mean, they can start to run, by the time they have reached full speed, they are running into traffic or a parking lot. Our suburban kids pass more rubber, plastic and metal than fluffy bunnies and lush fields on their way to school, that is if they walk at all. Pushing past the neighbor's garbage cans loosely becomes considered a gross motor movement.

Green is traded in for concrete, air is traded in for smog, and space is traded in for bedrooms the size of closets. Within those tiny nooks lie computers and TV’s. The experience of combining freedom of movement with the elements of nature is elusive.

 As parents, we are at a loss.

The times of safe bike riding are gone.

Kites bang off the roof gutter and get caught on the wire fence on the way down.

Space and parking is a lacking commodity. Traffic keeps us from going very far because time is lacking, too. There’s no time to sit in traffic to get to the zoo four towns over. And when we do scrounge the time to get to the zoo, parking is a crapshoot because of overpopulation. It becomes a forced and hostile experience, and our kids learn more how to push through a crowd rather than savoring the moment a monkey swings down from a vine to clean her baby. 

While kids with ADHD are known for inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, many are also diagnosed with low muscle tone. When the environment that was designed to dissipate these symptoms has been paved over, what do we do to reconnect them?

In a recent study by child environment and behavior researchers, Frances Kuo, Ph.D and Andrea Faber Taylor, Ph.D, Green Day: How Outside Time Eases ADHD Symptoms, http://www.attitudemag.com/adhd/article9348.html, “finds improved concentration when kids spend time in green spaces – even familiar ones.”

This research is incredibly valuable for the mom with more than one child. It's very difficult to get the older child to the playground when younger child is napping, eating, pooping. So use what you got:

 

      1.  Grab a blanket & lay on backyard grass. Scatter books and just start reading out loud. They will come. (ages 0-4) 

     Set up a study space outside for homework. (ages 5+)

      Background noise helps drive out distraction. What better (immediate) way to help your child tone down the ADHD symptoms than to expose him/her to the wind and rustling of trees?       

I    2. I Spy. Chose an object or color. Take a walk around the neighborhood spying the “hiding” item. Helps exercise focus. (ages 4-10)

3.  Splash in rain puddles. Be prepared to come home soaked. Take a walk in or right after a fresh rain and let the kids jump in puddles. Got a corner in the yard that floods after a rain? Offer pebbles/ rocks, and demonstrate ripples in the water. Got beach buckets? Scoop and pour. Helps child grasp and maintain focus while expelling energy. (all ages)

     4.  Visit the school lawn. Bring some rubber gloves and a trash bag. Bottles, cans, paper wads and broken pencils. Clean up the grass. Builds abstract concept recognition, meaning respect for the Earth and providing a clean space for others in the community. (ages 3+)

     5. Insect Journal. Did you know Teddy Roosevelt kept an insect journal when he was eleven years old? http://www.amnh.org/explore/science-topics/theodore-roosevelt. 

    Take a notebook and head to the backyard. No backyard? Some suburban towns have a public patch of land in the center of town with flower bushes or trees. Be on the look-out for ladybugs, rolly-pollys, ants, spiders, earth worms after the rain, and caterpillars in the spring. Very young children can draw their discoveries in a journal. Older children can accompany their art with detailed descriptions.

6.      See it in the Clouds. According to Dr. Robert Miles, Child Psychologist’s online article, 5 Simple Concentration Bulding Techniques for Kids with ADHD, “Combining simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing with positive visual imagery helps the brain to improve or learn new skills.”

Lay a blanket on the lawn, or simply lie down in the grass. Watch the clouds float and transform. Imagine different shapes and figures.

Use this creative process to benefit the ADHD child in school, social settings, and beyond. What is a difficult part of his/her life? Getting an A in Math? Sitting with friends at lunch? Remembering to bring home the assignment pad? Encourage him to visualize himself achieving these goals/desires in the clouds. If he can “see” it happen, his brain will begin to believe it, and improvement will become reality. Read more by Dr. Miles at http://www.empoweringparents.com/Five-Simple-Brain-Exercise-Activities-for-Your-ADHD-Child.php#ixzz2M40heYRO

(ages 4+)

7.  Texture Game. This is a great challenge, especially for suburban kids who live in a world where the lines between nature and man-made are blurred. It is a welcome challenge to any child, because it is one in which touch is encouraged.

In the Texture game, the child needs to differentiate between nature and man-made. When he correctly discovers a nature item, he gets to feel the texture.  Living in an environment where the nature is sparse, this activity really pushes the child to sort and discover the pieces of surrounding nature. Is a plastic water bottle floating down the street nature? No. So he doesn’t get to feel it. Is the popped balloon laying on the sidewalk nature? No. So he doesn’t get to feel it. Is the overgrown shrub on the corner nature? Yes. He gets to feel the shrub!  (Just make sure the crotchety old lady neighbors aren't looking!)

8.  Hunting and gathering. Choose a healthy recipe everyone will enjoy. Assign kids ingredients. They will be responsible for finding their assigned ingredient at the farmers market. I say farmers market because there are more natural, organic foods there, and the experience is a little more natural. Cook together, and set up a backyard picnic. Weather crappy? Eat inside with a window cracked. (ages 4+)

 9. Shoot for the Stars. Taking out the trash with your kids at night can lead to a pretty surprise. Younger children can help out too, just by dragging a small item like a pizza box to the curb with you. Surprise them on the way back into the house, by telling them “look up”. A few moments of star gazing opens up a whole world of curiosity, discovery, and possibility.  (ages 4+)

10. What's your number 10? Your comment is welcome!